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By Carole Bradshaw and Dr Benita Perch (ND)

If you feel stressed and sad at times, be assured you’re not alone. Maternal mental health is subject to a heavy toll. As practitioners, we’ve seen a myriad of mums trying hard to be superwomen.

Superwoman Syndrome is real: in many families (not all, we know), the never-ending mental load falls squarely on mothers’ shoulders: the thinking, planning, organizing, and emotional labour of keeping a family and home running. Many mums were already stretched thin, particularly working mums.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mum or a working mum, if you’re buckling and burning out under pressure – we want to help.

Some of the challenges that mothers face include:

• The constant needs and schedules of family members
• Comparison to others or criticism from others
• Striving to achieve the perfect home environment for your family
• The work-life juggling act (as if it wasn’t challenging enough before!)
• Pressure to leave the workforce or downshift careers to support your family
• Job losses or income losses
• The emotional toll of caring for stressed and anxious children (stressed kids equals stressed mums)
• The sense of not being able to switch off, rest and recharge
• A sense of being alone or lonely. Many of us in Hong Kong have moved away from family, leaving us with a weaker local support system

It’s ok to not be ok. But it’s not ok if you’re on the brink of burnout.

Whilst it’s natural and normal to feel occasional bouts of stress, tiredness, and anxiety, it’s not ok to burnout. Burnout is a state of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged periods of stress. Left unmanaged, it can make it increasingly difficult for you to cope with everyday life. Long-term, burnout can cause serious harm to your hormonal, digestive, nervous, immune, and reproductive systems.

What are some of the common signs of burnout?

Here are some of the red flags that can indicate you are burning out:

• Sleeping problems
• Chronic fatigue, exhaustion, and irritation
• Unexplained headaches, stomach aches, and other aches and pains
• Cynicism, social withdrawal, a sense of being unable to cope
• Anxiety or depression
• Heavy periods
• Gut issues including SIBO and dysbiosis
• Thyroid problems
• Debilitating or early menopause
• Hormonal issues

What to do when you’re starting to feel burned out

Step away from the stressors that are causing or contributing to your burnout for a while. Remember that even if everything isn’t perfect, letting go of the reins – even if in only one area can allow you the space and time you need to rest, recharge, re-evaluate and recalibrate.

If you can – delegate. Ask your spouse to help out in particular areas, or take on certain tasks. This can be helpful in giving them some perspective on the mental load you carry. If your kids are old enough – ask them to help out and give them jobs. This can also give them a sense of responsibility and teach them valuable life skills.

We understand that sometimes delegation or letting go of stressors might feel impossible. Sometimes the stressors just keep coming.

But, hope is not lost. We take an integrated healing approach to your wellbeing. Your mind, emotions, body, environment, sense of purpose, energy, and community are the seven pillars of optimal health and wellness. By taking care of each of these pillars, you can recharge and start to feel mentally well again.

Strategies to overcome burnout

As working mothers ourselves, we know real self-care goes way beyond face masks and bath bombs. Real self-care isn’t a once-in-a-while reward or indulgence; it’s an essential component of mental wellbeing. Here, we share a variety of strategies that you can use to protect against burnout. Taking even one small step at a time can soon add up to a giant leap forward.

Body

• Homeopathic remedies and herbs can help to nourish your body and ease your mind. Adrenal herbs to help your body cope with stress include Ashwaghanda and siberian ginseng; nervine herbs to nourish your body include lavender and lemon balm. These can bolster your resilience to help you through your day.
• Nutrients such as B vitamins, Magnesium, Vitamin C, Zinc and fish oils can all help to boost feelgood neurotransmitters needed by your brain to support a happier and positive outlook.
• Practice good sleep hygiene. Ditch the digitals at least one hour before bedtime; ensure your room is cool and dark and aim to get at least eight hours of sleep. Of course, we recognise this may not be enough to beat sleep problems. Implementing some or all the strategies outlined below can help you. If you need a personalized plan, we suggest scheduling a consultation with one of our naturopaths.
• Move for mental health. Physical exercise (we recommend a blend of both yin and yang exercises) and walks in nature are proven ways to boost mental health. If stress is causing aches and pains like back, neck or shoulder pain, our osteopaths can support you with cranial therapy.

Emotions

• As the psychologist Carl Rogers shared: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Accepting your feelings, rather than ignoring or suppressing them, is the first step to restoring emotional wellbeing. If you can meet your emotions, and really feel them, you can allow them to pass through you.
• The right relationships can heal. Family or friends that can listen with empathy, meet you where you are at emotionally, and be with you in your moments of despair can help to buffer your stress response, slowing the release of cortisol (stress hormone) and allowing your nervous system to settle and become calm.
• But even the most well-intended or typically compassionate friends may not have the ability or capacity to offer a trusted and non-judgmental safe space for you to feel and heal, particularly in these more testing times. Our mental health practitioners can hold space for you and the despair you’re feeling. They can help you identify the resources that can help to sustain you and develop the practical support you need to regain balance.

Mind

• Say yes to the sustainers and no to the drainers. Prioritise what sustains you, be it reading books, walks in nature, exercise, or time with friends. And be honest about what drains you such as certain people, social media, or news bulletins. If possible, step back from the drainers to protect against the stress they cause.
• Mindfulness and meditation are a proven antidote to stress. They release the happy chemicals serotonin and dopamine in your brain to restore a sense of calm. If you’d like to join a mindfulness community, we host free Monday Mindfulness sessions led by experienced practitioners both online and at our clinic.
• Let go of perfectionism. At the best of times, perfectionism can cause overwhelm and a sense of feeling like you’re ‘not good enough’. Be kind to your mind by pacing yourself and identifying and addressing what needs to be done on any given day.

Environment

• There are multiple benefits of spending time in nature. It’s proven to increase happiness, reduce anxiety and depression, and improve energy and productivity. Plus, it’s known to boost immunity, which can take a massive hit when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
• It’s also important to spend some time in the sun. Known to increase the brain’s release of serotonin (the happy hormone), natural daylight reduces stress, curbs anxiety, and improve sleep. It’s also a great source of Vitamin D, which many Hong Kongers are short of. To improve your mood, go out in the sun or at least allow natural light into your home or workspace.
• As much as possible, steer clear of toxins. Food, lifestyle choices, digital devices, friendships and more. Depending on what you are exposed to, these can either help or harm your mental health.

Spirit

• Spirit often means different things to different people. For each of us, there is that special something that soothes the soul, brings calm to the chaos, and nurtures compassion for self and others. It might be prayer or voluntary work, the arts or sports. Whatever is it, it’s essential for your wellbeing to stay connected with it.
• As mums shoulder the weight of their family’s needs, many share they’ve lost their sense of purpose – be at home, at work, or in life.  A sense of purpose can be the light to guide you through the darkness. Our executive and wellness coaches can help you to find or reconnect to your sense of purpose.

Energy

• When you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or emotionally drained, the right remedy and dosage of homeopathy can help to rebalance emotions and restore confidence. Our homeopaths can prescribe the best remedy to support your mental health needs, taking into consideration your medical history, lifestyle habits, and personality,
• Osteopathy, craniosacral therapy and acupuncture are all gentle therapies that can help increase your energy, soothe your nervous system, and restore mental and emotional balance.
• Practicing yoga, Kirtan or Tai Chi can also help to unblock and encourage the flow of energy throughout your body.

Community

• When you’re exhausted or overwhelmed, your first instinct may be to retreat. For some mums, this can help them to conserve energy. But if you hibernate for too long, you can start to feel unhappy and alone. Mothers with strong support from their communities are proven to have lower levels of stress and greater optimism about parenting. Our brains are wired to connect: strong social ties can help to protect against the detrimental effects of stress on your mental health. This is known as stress buffering.
• Your community can remind you that you are not alone, that we are all in this together, and that we can all get through this together. Whilst in-person interactions are ideal, online communities (the uplifting, positive kind!) can promote a sense of belonging too.

If the pressures of parenting are weighing you down and you would like expert support, please reach out. Taking every aspect of your wellbeing into consideration, we can partner with you to create a personalised plan that protects and strengthens your mental wellbeing now and in the months ahead. Contact our integral health advisor for a free, no-obligation conversation to determine the most appropriate service or practitioner to help you forward on your journey to recovery and renewed resilience.

Chinese version 中文版

如何應對新冠疫情下家長壓力爆煲

過去兩年間，不斷有研究強調新冠病毒疫情持續對媽媽們的心理健康造成嚴重影響。

在大部份家庭中，母親需要處理家中很多鎖碎事務，在職媽媽需要處理的事情甚至更多。加上疫情侵襲, 她們承擔了更多的角色和責任, 令她們身心疲勞。媽媽們在工作和家庭之間的界線已經很模糊。疫情下的育兒方式使許多媽媽感到崩潰和倦怠。

媽媽們所面臨的挑戰包括:

• 疫情反覆，學校日程、 檢疫及社區措施等安排經常改變
• 取消或恢復面授課堂
• 家庭成員的日程安排
• 旅行出入境的限制，阻礙外遊計劃
• 與海外親人和朋友分隔異地
• 居家工作的不協調
• 離職或工作轉變的壓力
• 失業或收入減少
• 照顧有壓力和焦慮孩子的精神付出
• 沒有機會充分休息
• 感到孤獨和寂寞。無法表現互相支持或同理心。

偶爾感到壓力、疲憊和焦慮是正常的，但若果出現倦怠就要注意了的。倦怠是一種由長期壓力造成的精神、情感和身體的疲憊狀態。如果不加以理會，會對荷爾蒙、消化系統、神經、免疫和生殖系統造成嚴重的傷害。

以下是倦怠的常見跡像：

• 失眠
• 慢性疲勞、疲憊和煩躁
• 不明原因的頭痛、胃痛和其他疼痛
• 厭世，社交焦慮症
• 焦慮或抑鬱
• 月經量大
• 腸道問題，包括小腸細菌過度生長 (SIBO)、腸易激綜合症(IBS)和菌群失調
• 甲狀腺功能亢進症
• 衰弱或提早出現更年期
• 多囊卵巢综合征

當你開始感到倦怠時該怎麼辦？
我們會鼓勵你將自己抽離導致或促成倦怠的問題一段時間。讓你有空間和時間來休息、充電、重新評估和重新調整。IMI透過綜合治療方法幫助你維持最佳的七大健康支柱: 思想、情緒、身體、環境、信念、能量和共同體。

克服倦怠的方法
作為在職媽媽，我們需要多關懷自己的身體健康，還需要注意自己的精神健康。以下是各種用來防止倦怠的方法可供參考。

身體

• 順勢療法和草本藥可以幫助滋養我們的身體和放鬆我們的心靈。Ashwaghanda和西伯利亞人參等腎上腺草本藥能幫助身體應對壓力。神經性草本藥如薰衣草和檸檬香脂能幫助滋養身體。為您增強身體的適應力。
• 維他命B雜、鎂、維他命C、鋅和魚油等營養素都可以幫助大腦增加所需的血清素和多巴胺，以支持更快樂和積極的心情。
• 養成良好的睡眠習慣。在睡前至少一小時遠離電子產品；保持房間清涼和黑暗，並爭取至少八小時的睡眠。如果您有意尋求個人化的健康諮詢, 請與我們的自然療法師預約。
• 運動有助身心健康。我們建議混合陰和陽的運動方法，例如進行體力鍛煉和散步可以促進心理健康。如果壓力導致背部、頸部或肩部疼痛，我們的骨科醫生可以用顱骨療法幫助你舒緩不適。

情緒

• 正如心理學家Carl Rogers提出：“當我接受自己本來的樣子時，我就可以改變” 恢復情緒健康的第一步是要接受自己的感受，而不是忽視或抑制。我們需要正視情緒，並真正感受到它。
• 正面的關係具有治療作用。如果家人或朋友能夠用心傾聽，陪伴左右, 給予情感上的支持, 幫助緩沖壓力，減緩皮質醇（壓力荷爾蒙）的釋放，穩定神經系統。
• 我們的心理治療師可以給予您一個安全並可信賴的空間，細心聆聲, 幫助你確立問題所在， 提供實際支持，讓你重拾健康身心。

心靈

• 優先考慮自己喜歡做的事情，例如閱讀、散步、運動，或是與朋友相處。誠實地告訴自己什麼讓你感到疲憊，盡可能遠離它們, 減低受影響而造成的壓力。
• 正念和冥想是緩解壓力的解藥。透過正念和冥想, 我們大腦會釋放快樂的化學物質5-羥色胺和多巴胺，以恢復平靜感。如果你想參加正念訓練，我們在網上和診所會提供由經驗豐富的專業治療師主持的免費正念課程。
• 放棄完美主義，通過調整自己的節奏來善待自己的心靈。

環境

• 多接觸大自然證實可以增加幸福感，減少焦慮和抑鬱，並提高能量、生產力和提高免疫力。
• 陽光或自然光可以增加大腦釋放的血清素（快樂激素），減少壓力，抑制焦慮，並改善睡眠。陽光也是維他命D的一個重要來源，許多香港人都缺乏這種維生素。外出曬太陽或讓自然光進入家中或工作空間, 都能改善我們的情緒。
• 盡可能遠離毒素。食物、生活方式、電子產品、友誼等等。遠離那些會損害你心理健康的東西。

精神力量

• 每個人都有獨特的東西可以安撫心靈，為您帶來平靜，維持你的心靈健康：例如祈禱、志願工作、藝術或體育。
• 媽媽們很多時肩負著家庭重任，而遺忙了自己在家庭、工作和生活中的目標。我們的健康教練可以助你重搭生活的熱情和動力。

能量

• 當您感到壓力、焦慮或情緒低落時，順勢療法可以幫助重新平衡情緒並恢復信心。我們的順勢療法醫師會根據您的病史、生活習慣和個性，建議最合適的療法來支持您的心理健康。
• 整骨療法、顱骶療法和針灸都是溫和的療法，可以幫助增加能量，舒緩神經系統，並恢復心理和情緒的平衡。
• 練習瑜伽或太極拳也可以幫助增強身體的能量和促進流動。

共同體

• 當我們疲憊不堪或不知所措時，第一直覺可能是退縮。但如果將這些負面情緒埋藏太久，就會開始感到不快樂和孤獨。事實巳證明，得到外界支持的母親，其壓力水平較低，對養育子女更加樂觀。強大的外界支持可以幫助防止壓力對心理健康的不利影響。
• 我們並不孤單，大家一起共渡難關。雖然面對面的互動是最理想的，但線上互動也可以促進一種歸屬感。

身為父母的你, 如果在疫情期間感到壓力沉重，想得到專家的支持，請聯繫我們。經驗豐富的健康顧問會根據您的個人需求, 提供免費的健康指導, 為您介紹最合適的醫生和服務，幫助你在重新出發。