Grief, Loss, and Bereavement

Loss is an inevitable part of life that can take many forms: the death of a loved one, the loss of a home, job, pet, or treasured object; or a physical capability that has been lost through illness or injury. Loss can also occur when passing through different life stages. Maturity and ageing requires leaving some part of the individual behind, and grieving must occur before the transition to the next stage can occur.

Loss, grief, and bereavement violate personal boundaries and remove a sense of security and control. The attachment to the person, object, or activity that provided security, meaning, or purpose is severed, and initially the person feels a sense of aloneness and helplessness.

Loss, grief, bereavement, and mourning are closely related terms, defined as follows:

• Loss is the state of being deprived of or going without something one has had.
• Grief is the pain and suffering experienced after loss.
• Bereavement is reaction to the loss of a close relationship.
• Mourning is the period of time during which signs of grief are shown.

The bereavement experience includes adapting to the loss, letting go of that which has been lost, compromising, and accepting, as a new identity is formed and a new life rebuilt.

Grieving is an iterative and cyclical process, involving trial and error and frustrating returns to earlier experiences of grief and loss. It demands an active response to restore a sense of control.

Self-restoration depends on healing the void within, or the part that has been eliminated because of the loss.

Characteristics of Acute Grief

• Physical symptoms
• Preoccupation with thoughts and images of the deceased or lost object
• Guilt related to the death or loss event
• Hostile reactions
•  Loss of function

The four general phases of grieving are numbness, yearning and searching, disorganization and despair, and reorganization.

Each client has a set of different cognitive biases that filters information and serves to form an individual belief system that impacts the phases of grieving.

The IMI Approach

Mourning is a co-facilitative process where the client takes the lead in rebuilding a new life of meaning. The client must grieve in order to let go and be able to make future attachments.

Mourning allows the bereaved to identify and work through the following four tasks of grief:

• Accept the reality of the loss
• Work through and fully experience the pain of grief
• Adjust to the environment that is a constant and ever-present reminder of the loss
• Emotionally relocate the deceased or loss object and reinvest in life. This does not, however, mean forgetting about the person or object; rather, the bereaved stops getting emotional needs met from the lost person or object

Grief counselling supports the process of normal movement through these tasks. It also addresses areas of conflict and complication that might hinder the normal process, including any past, present, and future losses that may influence the process.

Interventions focus on emotional processing, cognitive insight, and restructuring. Once insight is gained and the emotional and cognitive aspects of the relationship to the lost person or object have been explored, the bereaved progresses towards changing his or her constructs and creates new meaning.

Practitioners at IMI

Catriona Rogers, Counselling Psychologist
 

< back to Health Conditions